The pain of health

Eye test time.

After two years, it was time to revisit specsavers to be poked and prodded in the eyes while paying for the pleasure. Two years ago I visited when I began to get blinding headaches and was told that my glasses at the time simply didn’t cut it any more. My left eye had ‘degraded significantly’!
THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Dammit, i don’t want to hear that even if it is true. Butter it up a bit first doc, tell me that my hair looks nice then launch into the news. Actually its just a term meaning my stigmata (i have stigmata now?) has changed, it doesn’t actually mean my vitreous humour is going to pour out at any time.

So all this made me slightly worried before getting to the shop for the test. After having puffs of air blasted into my face, my eye lid yanked up by the optician, fighting back a bout of nervous giggles when she started sticking lenses in the Hans Moleman-esque frame, being blinded by some overly camp short oriental fella and then the ritual humiliation of picking frames with some assistant who has more fashion sense than me, I think I came out of it quite well.

Picking up the new bins next Wednesday.


Its a bloody simple game.
You take turns to pick up a map card, place it so a road is formed and try to close the road so you can place a coloured marker on one of your places on the map. Place all eight and you win. There is little skill involved as its mainly what card you pick up determines what you can put down and, while i will admit there is some stradgerdy* involved, i wouldn’t pass it off as Risk**


I bought Kids of Carcassonne on Saturday and i would recommend it to anyone with a family. We played it solid for several hours over the weekend and its so easy and quick to play that i can’t believe i’ve not missed something. The age range is 4+ while full blown Carcassonne is 8+ so i can only imagine what is added to the ‘grown up’ version.

*adopt best Bugs Bunny accent to read that
**Not that i play Risk

It was like something from a Hitchcock film…

If this was the BBC news then thats how it would have started. As this isn’t the news I had better start it another way.

I was at Sidegate primary school yesterday to help with the new server install and I made sure i was there nice and early (7:30) as one of the server team said he would be there from 7am.

I wandered around the school yard looking for the team only for a seagull to swoop low over me, then again, then again and again only the next time he dropped some guano about three inches away from my foot. To say this guy was low would be an understatement, i could have reached up and plucked him out of the air (if i fancied my eyes pecking out). In the end i belted to the cover of some trees and he sat ontop of a roof watching me with that evil glint that only seagulls can pull off. Everytime i went out into the playground he would swoop down and buzz me dropping his lunch from the previous day at me. Obviously there is a nest somewhere and they thought i was after some nice, tasty seagull for lunch.
I beat a hasty retreat back to the car and sat waiting for Keith in relative safety.

Lord only knows how the they deal with all the children in the playground during the day.