Stage 1 – Shock
I’m skipping along merrily to the car with the rain coming down and…. wait…. whats this? A parking ticket on my car? Hahahaha some kind of joke perhaps as it was April 1st the other day. What? Its real! For my car? HOW! I’m parked in my usual spot outside the house in a valid bay. I must get back in the house to check this in the dry. Come along little one, we shall not drive to Felixstowe to go swimming just now, i must check this.
Stage 2 – Rage
HOW CAN THIS BE RIGHT! MY RESIDENT PERMIT HAS NOT EXPIRED!
Stage 3 – Face palming
My resident permit has expired.
Stage 4 – Denial
There must be something wrong. I pay this every year like clockwork, there is obviously some kind of mistake and I should go to the council office and sort it out right now. Come along little one, we shall not drive to Felixstowe to go swimming just now, i must vent my anger at some underpaid bureaucrat.
Stage 5 – Fist shaking
HOW DARE YOU CLOSE YOUR OFFICE ON A SATURDAY JUST BECAUSE ITS A BANK HOLIDAY!
Stage 6 – Swimming
Bugger me its cold in this water
Stage 7 – Resignation
OK so fair do’s. My permit has expired but i haven’t had the new one through from the council. As its Saturday and the Easter weekend I cannot sort this out until Tuesday. It is bound to be easy to clear up. My bank account doesn’t show signs of the £35 for the permit coming out so there must be some kind of error and the forms got lost in the post. I will challenge the bureaucrats at their game and appeal against this £50 fine…
Stage 8 – Horror
How many forms do i need to fill out to appeal?
Stage 9 – Blind terror
HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT TO APPEAL!?!
Stage 10 – Sobbing
Stage 11 – Night Terrors
(not actually part of the parking ticket thing but more a leftover from a childhood issue to do with pygmies and mushrooms)
Stage 12 – Waiting and moaning to anyone in earshot
“Ripped off I was”
Stage 13 – Grinding teeth
I’ve only been waiting in line for 40 minutes but i swear that zit on the back of this guys neck has doubled in size. And if that bloke at the front of the line doesn’t shut up about being evicted from his house i will glare at him even harder than i did five minutes ago… shit hes looking my way, hide!
Stage 14 – Dawning of realisation
So I only need to pay £25 for the fine and you say there is no chance of me appealing. Cheers. I now have a stack of forms to fill in just to apply for the ability to park on my own street.
I’ve now tagged a yearly event in my calendar to remind me to renew my parking permit.