moi?

My name is David (Dave to some), I’m male and lower mid 30’s in age (that’s going up on a daily basis), I have two legs (both of which are mine) and all my own hair, some of which is on my aforementioned legs. I was originally spawned and grew up in the north of England (near Rochdale just outside Manchester) and have settled down in the east (Ipswich) but constantly tell people I’d rather be Welsh as I have so much Welsh heritage there are graves in Wales with my name on them.

These days I laughingly passing myself off as a sculptor, animator, designer of graphics, websites, multimedia and other slightly related materials, but I’m living in fear of the day when someone spots that I actually know bugger all about any of these things and I’m burnt alive for fraud.

While growing up I developed a love for films and wanted to get into special effects, so naturally I played loads of tabletop battle games and build loads of scenery, sadly I was a crap general but my battlefields looked good. Around this time I got my first job which was working for a rare book dealer where I picked up a deep love for paperback 1930’s-60’s era pulp sci-fi and carrying heavy boxes (this one seems to have followed me to every single job I’ve had since). After failing one A-level and barely scraping by on the other three I did an HND in art and design and fell into photography and sculpting then moved to Ipswich in the 90’s to study Model Making and visual effects at Ipswich University not it was a college university (it kept losing its status). It was here I realised that gluing wood together and blowing it up was a dead subject as everything was going CGI so I finished the course and did a topup degree to try and understand these computer thingy’s. This didn’t go well and I ended up as a member of the management of a local branch of Odeon cinema where I carried heavy boxes of popcorn. In a moment of frustration I quit and started working for DEFRA and produced paperwork for exporting dog semen, chickens feet and horses. This was not a good career move…

I somehow managed to land a job with a graphic design agency as a video editor and spent many years working on motion graphics, instore TV channels for ASDA and Jewson, TV adverts, marketing videos and even some training material. Then the recession kicked in and redundancy called round. I spent nine months working in local government on IT support for schools in the area before moving on up to the web department as their graphics biatch where I was even given some crayons to colour the websites in with. A year of dealing with the most awful red tape on the planet left me with a bitter taste in my mouth and I left to join a private company which is a highly respected, world wide brand name in multimillion pound yachts. Lucky me is the web administrator which means I am responsible for running the first place millionaires look when trying to pick a new yacht. No pressure.

To pass the days away until I do my one time only Jean d’Arc impression, I play boardgames with loads of cards and funny shaped dice, sculpting with real materials as well as in 3d, I read, I dabble in some astronomy (so I know when the stars are right to get on my robes and chant ai! ai! Cthulhu fhtagn), I buy comics, I buy loads of DVD’s, forget to watch them and then buy more comics.

I’ve also written for a couple of magazines and done a number of presentations infront of real people about areas I’ve worked in. But for now I shall work on making myself look busy which includes this vanity blog and the site it’s attached to, both of which are my sandboxes to tinker with to my hearts content.

feeding on the gammy carcass of life since 1793

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